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Friday, February 7, 2014

2014 New Year's Resolution January Update!

Oh boy, here we come again. At this time of the month I feel the temptation to dismiss resolutions as completely useless and energy draining.

This hasn't been the case for me, however.

Having concrete and simple resolutions for 2014 (as opposed to the vague ones in 2013) has really helped me in paying attention to them.

OK, enough of that. Let's start with this update!

Resolution #1: Calorie count everyday.

There are days I really don't like counting calories (i.e. days when I overeat) but I have been somewhat consistent in this! I have counted calories more days than I have not.

In fact, for the month of January, there have been only a handful of days where I didn't count calories. I know, there is room for improvement but I can't help but to be happy over this improvement!

As a side effect of this, I'm happy to report that I've lost 3 pounds!

Resolution #2: Spend 30 minutes a week cleaning my room.

This is another area where I've seen huge improvements!

For the most part, I have been doing my room cleaning! I don't always do 30 minutes (this week for example, I did close to 20 minutes) but my room is much more cleaner as a result of this!

I have also put it in my schedule when to clean my room. It is on Mondays afternoons.

Resolution #3: Update my blog twice a week.

OK, in retrospect, I should have written ONCE a week! What was I thinking?...

Anyways, It's been really difficult to update my blog twice a week. That is my ideal, as I really believe it will help me and this blog (and perhaps, dare I say, other people who might read it?).

Updating my blog can be challenging. I don't have internet at my house, and it means getting out to a coffee shop to connect on the internet.

I'm not going to update my blog over my phone so don't even think about it...

I'm a missionary with a part time job and a part time student, and so incredibly busy!

We will see, maybe I'll find creative ways to update my blog twice a week.

That's it for this month, see you next!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Still Struggling with Loneliness...

Back in October I wrote a post about my struggles with loneliness and how God was calling me into a time of solitude.

I felt that maybe I found the solution to an issue that's been haunting me ever since I've moved to Oakland: Loneliness.

I wish I can come and tell you how I never feel lonely anymore, how I got it all figured it out. But that would be a lie.

This is the current state of things: I still feel lonely and yet I have found ways to get used to that loneliness.

Yes, I still have solitude time.

Yes, it is still uncomfortable, but somehow manageable.

The question that I keep asking myself is this: is this sense of loneliness a sign of my lack of maturity or is it a sign that God created me to be in community?

I had the chance in December to live in a friend's house who was out in vacation for a couple of weeks. A friend of mine was still living in my friend's house, and so I was hardly alone.

Needless to say the old sense of loneliness left me, and the thought of coming back home from work gave me joy instead of the old familiar dread.

I realized also how it was more about simply accompaniment than anything else. I didn't even need to talk to my friend. Just to know he was physically there it was all that was needed.

I usually retreated to my old stuff: reading, relaxing, watching a movie. Many times we talked and hanged out, many times we retreated to do our own.

But I never felt lonely.

I had lots of solitude time, but usually not a lot of times where I felt lonely.

I still don't know what to make of this experience. I won't lie, I'm hoping and praying my living situation changes soon.

Something invaluable I have gained from this experience however, is the sense of connectedness, empathy and understanding I have with my immigrants sisters and brothers. I now know and understand the sense of loneliness that haunts them as they come alone into this country.

Perhaps this is one of the lessons I need to learn.